The magic of having children – Speech

I honestly think it has been tiring to have four children in six years. Still, I think it derails the debate a bit. Since 2009, birth rates have been in sharp decline, and in just 15 years we have become Japan.

What happened, like? After the latest fertility figures for Norway were published a couple of weeks ago, the debate is on again. Demographics will change dramatically in Norway in the coming decades.

Then we should rather turn the debate towards what it takes for people to have more children. Kindergarten, housing and other things that are important for families with children. For the children, they are needed, so that we can solve the great social tasks that lie ahead of us.

As someone who likes to share sidelong glances on the chaotic side of life, I have thought that I should rather be a little better at “advertising” a little for life with children. Too tiring or not – having children is the most wonderful thing that has happened in my life. Tiresome and magical. Simultaneous.

Accompanying someone on the journey of life is great. From the little body that crawls into your bed at night, and wants to warm up the cold blankets. To the big body, which has grown stronger than yours. The youthe that moves around alone. Quite independente. Soon waxno. The one who chatters like hell at you, and the other who shrugs his shoulders and answers “I don’t know”.

Life is undoubtedly changing when you have children. In my view, the biggest transition is becoming parents in the first place, but it is clear that even more children can also bring some practical challenges.

In 2014 we had twins, and went from two to four children. The well-equipped station wagon was replaced by a reliable minibus. The laundry room has not been a news page there were six of us in the family. It probably won’t be in the next ten years either. It is among the things that are a bit boring and frustrating in everyday life. But that is not important. And it will pass.

The magic lies in everyday life, when a whole gang of girls crash in after school. And you have to empty the drawer for bread and the fridge for cold cuts. When you get to be the mum who makes toast for the whole party. And hear the buzzing from a child’s perspective in the background.

The magic is in watching the little kid score the first hockey goal of his life. And cheer wildly, even if you scored on your own keeper and didn’t quite understand which way the game was going. Or when the same kid has learned to score the right way, and achieve the goals you have set yourself on the sports field.

The magic lies in the kid who has become a substitute for the student council, and who will try to become a permanent representative next school year. And in the child who has been given the task of being a well-being leader at the school, and contributing to inclusion in recess. The magic lies in the sour notes from an instrument, which suddenly transforms into a melody you recognize.

The magic lies in the frustration around a Monopoly coffee table during the Easter holidays. And the laughter that sneaks up a little while after the game board went up in the air. The magic lies in the warm hug they give each other, when they have argued about something and regret it afterwards. The magic lies in the twins who have finally got their own rooms, but who keep spending the night with each other.

The magic lies in all the new people you bring into your life. Both children and their parents. The people who become friends and supporters. Which you hang out with at a flea market or in a round mitten. That you meet over a coffee in the afternoon, or a glass of wine at the weekend.

Many live very rich and complete lives without children. Others are very confident in their choice to have one or two children. Some have a strong desire to have children, but have problems becoming parents for various reasons.

That is why it is so important to approach the debate about birth rates and the number of children with caution. Whether it’s politicians who talk about demographics, mothers of young children who talk about careers and time constraints, or comedians who don’t think having children is tiring.

For those who are more unsure, and wondering if you can combine children with other priorities in life at least I just have one piece of advice:

Jump in it! It’s nice to have a group.