Growing up, Magnus Ravlo Stokke | Don’t talk to me through your children

Columnist This text expresses the writer’s personal attitudes.

Playgrounds are a priceless part of good urban development – both private developers and the municipality have understood that.

We are in the age of children: The orange climbing frame in Bjørvika, the new lobster on Bryggetorget and the scary slide on Tøyen put play at the centre. The rules of the game for the children are simple: violent, Darwinian play with life at stake.

But what are the rules for us parents on the playground?

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A highly subjective list of playground rules

As a father of four I have spent an estimated 10 percent of my life on playgrounds, and through hours of being in the sun and snow, both early and late, rested or exhausted the next day, I have made a highly subjective list of which rules I think parents should follow on the playground.

Do not participate in the game

This is the most important rule. For everyone – especially parents of multiple children – who sit on the bench and have explained that adults are not allowed to play on the climbing frame, look with fear at the eager dad who arrives at the playground while talking loudly and asking educational, rhetorical questions to the child: “Should Olivia and he dad climb high up the tower in teams?”

If only one parent enters that stand, the race is over. It’s about not throwing the first stone, don’t be a strike breaker – hold the line. Sit passively. This is a question of solidarity between us parents.

Do not bring motorized toy cars

Nothing is more demanding than when other kids arrive with an arsenal of expensive, motorized toys, which are a billion times cooler than moving the rocker-climbing-ladder-slide triangle.

This leaves me in an impossible negotiation situation where, in addition to trying to explain that it is more fun to play in the stand, I also have to negotiate on behalf of both myself and the car owner: “Don’t take the car. It is not spring and you will play in the rack. Maybe the boy doesn’t want everyone to use it.”

Columnist: Magnus Ravlo Stokke

Magnus Ravlo Stokke (43) writes about architecture, city life and everyday life in Avisa Oslo. Stokke studies architecture at AHO and lives in an apartment in an apartment building from 1892 in Bislett/Fagerborg. He is married and has four boys aged 3-14.

Preferred means of transport: E-bike with long child seat in everyday life, and a Volvo XC90 when I go to Thaugland to buy materials.

Can most often be found at the bar Rouleur, in the middle of the intersection on St Hanshaugen. We got married here. Oslo’s best place for a beer, summer and winter.

Oslo’s finest building is Kunstnernes Hus. Obvious qualities both outside, inside and in its surroundings, and so rich in more subtle details and architectural craftsmanship. (The only minus is that it is poorly adapted for wheelchair users.)

Oslo is at its best when you are cycling without your hands on the handlebars on your way to something pleasant at the beginning of May.

Dress dignified

We are not going to climb Mount Everest or walk the Birken in zero-speed. Go in normal, dignified clothes – not technical 71 Degrees Nord pants and layer on layers of breathable, slightly stretchy purple and pink jackets. Normal well-dressing also gives the impression that one should not move around that much. You are dressed to sit and talk about grown-up things, not to be high and low.

Leave the Hoka shoes and Haglöfs/Stormberg/Norrøna/Mammut jacket plus trousers at home.

Feel free to have a smoke

Personally, I think it’s nice that the children are also exposed to things that are not so good. Then they learn that life itself is not just rye bread and 12 hours of sleep, but much else as well. Smoke is a good example of this. Not everything has to be politically correct.

Feel free to talk on the mobile phone

When you sit and watch your own children, I have noticed that the sense of hearing is sharpened. And it’s incredibly entertaining to eavesdrop on the difficult conversation other parents have on their mobile phone. It’s a wonderful refill for us who just sit there.

So drive on, call the ex and explain why the new partner was allowed to meet the children before the agreed quarantine period was over.

also read

Mini-cities, citizens and the country’s longest slide. See the nice playgrounds in Oslo

Don’t talk to me through your own children

If you have something on your mind, tell me. Don’t take it via Olivia. If, for example, I push my own children to the front of the queue on the swing, then don’t tell Olivia that “that man probably hasn’t practiced queuing, which you’re so good at, Olivia!”

Just tell me (and see what happens).

Don’t promise the children lots of things

When you happily saunter off after shouting out loud to Olivia: “Hi daddy and Olivia are going to the bakery and buy cocoa and buns”, you leave behind a playground where all the children are left in the sandbox thinking about hot cocoa and buns.

Very disloyal behavior.

If you rather say in an authoritative voice: “Now Olivia, he dad and Olivia should go straight home and clean and eat bread food with liver paste” and then, when you are around the corner still go to the baker, then you will be a double hero.

also read

“Show consideration, children play” Where?

Do not bring candy or cookies

The desire for biscuits and sweets among children spreads like cholera at the water pumps in 19th century London, no matter how well you think you hide it.

Crack down on bad behavior from all children

It takes a village to raise a child. If someone is behaving like an asshole, speak up. It doesn’t take any damage off, on the contrary.

Feel free to plan your visit outside the playground’s busy times

It’s nice if there aren’t too many children on the playground at the same time. Therefore, it is good if you can leave early in the morning, or very late at weekends, or during the day during the week.

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