– Dit was quite tough, we both sat and cried, says Tone Enoksen.
Tone talks about her daughter’s Russian time in 2022. Linn Alice had been looking forward to Russian time for a long time – especially when her older sister had had a fantastic Russian time. Everything was planned, and clothes had been bought.
– Linn Alice was eager when it came to planning and selling things to bring in money for the common fund. There was a lot of driving to deliver door rolls, laughs Tone.
But when the christening was to be held, on the night of 1 May, it did not turn out as they had imagined. Everything was ready for the christening – Linn Alice just sat at home and waited for the time when they would meet. But according to Linn Alice, she was never sent this time.
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– Linn Alice saw photos and videos from the party, where apparently everyone else was. And that’s how it continued for the next few days – she wasn’t included, says Tone.
It broke the mother’s heart, she says.
– I think it was about the same pain for both of us. It was so painful to see her like that – it’s a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Noticed that something was wrong
Not everyone would tell their parents about such a situation. Tone was quite surprised that his daughter opened up about it.
– She is not a person who tells everything, but I did notice that something was wrong when the Russian celebrations were underway, and she just stayed at home. She did not have the same joy as her older sister. When she replied that she didn’t really want to be part of what happened, I started asking more, and then the whole rule came to an end.
Tone was able to see the photos and videos that were shared.
She is not sure what caused the situation to become so difficult.
Wanted to help
Tone was in a very desperate situation. She had no idea what to do to help her daughter, but she wanted to do something. In consultation with Linn Alice, she wrote a post which she posted on Facebook. She told about the situation that had arisen, and wondered if there were more lonely drunks in Trondheim.
– I considered for a long time before choosing to post the post. But you have to dare to jump into it. Linn Alice approved everything, so then it was just a matter of driving.
And the post took off. The response was overwhelming, says Tone.
– I received many messages from other parents who were as frustrated as I was. And then I got messages from others who were also drunk. Suddenly she had more people to be with.
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– One of the most difficult things there is
Hanne Backe-Hansen, advisor at Blue Cross, has previously stated that many people worry about whether or not they will be included already from the first year of upper secondary school, and that it can become a stressful element for many over time.
– Being left out of the community is one of the most difficult things there is, and we have to get better at including everyone, she believes.
Head of prevention in Blue Cross, Camilla Lunde, believes that those standing around must help the Russians with inclusion.
– Parents must get involved in their children’s social everyday life, and be good role models from an early age. Teachers must talk to pupils about inclusion, and this must start already in primary school. The municipalities must take responsibility for the Russian language having a place to be, and we must create joint events and arenas in collaboration with the Russian language, the school, parents and other partners. In this way, we can achieve a dignified and inclusive celebration of thirteen years of schooling for everyone, she has stated.
– When I was Russian, some girls had to answer whether they were willing to strip or perform sexual acts in order to join a Russian bus
Plaster on the wound
Among other things, Linn Alice came into contact with another Russian who had been excluded and was completely alone, and they are still in daily contact. Linn Alice has agreed to her mother sharing the story.
– I have heard of several such cases where certain people are excluded, and it is difficult to know what to do. But I believe that as parents you should be able to get involved a little – as long as the children approve. You can’t just sit and watch, says Tone.
One of the organizers behind a large Russian party in the city had seen Tone’s post. They got in touch and gave Linn Alice free entry to the event.
– There she met several acquaintances. So even though it started very badly, I think it was a successful Russian celebration nonetheless. In any case, she was very tired on 18 May, so the goal was probably reached then, laughs Tone.
