– Dit was no fireworks when Kristian and I became a couple. We knew each other from primary school, and at a party with mutual acquaintances we kissed for the first time. After that, everything happened gradually.
We were young, in the process of educating ourselves, and life was simple and uncomplicated. I rented a small dormitory, and Kristian lived in the basement flat in his parents’ house. His parents, Peter and Ida, often invited us to dinner. Also sitting at the table was Kristian’s little brother Jan, who was 16 years old. He and I shared the same sense of humor and conversation flowed easily.
– I was close to dying
50 year party
In the relationship between Kristian and me, there was rarely room for deep conversations, but we had the same circle of friends, who we hung out with when we had time off from work. I worked as a kitchen assistant, and Kristian was an apprentice plumber. The friends tied us together, and two years passed like that. Then something happened.
Both Peter and Ida turned 50, and a party was to be held with a large marquee in the garden, food, music and dancing. The planning was extensive and due to my experience as a kitchen assistant I was asked to prepare the food.
Kristian had a lot to do during this period, so it often happened that it was only my parents-in-law, Jan and I, who sat with menus and shopping lists. It was also just the four of us who went on a trip to Sweden to shop for the party.
Lately I had become aware of how much Jan and I had in common. We chatted non-stop.
Jan and I were sitting in the back seat, and I remember that on that particular day I noticed that what had previously been fluff on his upper lip had now become a real stubble. Kristian’s little brother was growing up, but he was still only 18, and I was almost 23, so the age difference felt huge. But when we talked together, I didn’t notice it.
“My daughter looked at me and asked: Who is my father?”
The kiss in the garden
It was probably the good chemistry between us that made Ida place Jan and me next to each other. She had put Kristian together with some cousins of the same age. It was perfectly fine for me, because I actually had more fun with Jan.
Lately I had become aware of how little Kristian and I had in common. We needed to have a serious conversation about the future, but of course it wasn’t going to be the night we celebrated his parents. We ate good food, toasted and drank. Jan and I chatted non-stop.
Suddenly I felt attracted to Jan, an attraction that had actually been there for a long time, but which I had pushed away since he was just a boy – and then my girlfriend’s little brother.
It was obvious that there could never be anything between us, but with wine in our blood, reason disappeared from both of us.
The kiss we shared in the dark at the back of the garden when dinner was over and the guests had taken the dance floor was wonderful. It felt like we were alone in the whole world.
However, we were not. About 20 meters away my girlfriend was dancing. Reason won out over the alcohol, and I pushed Jan away.
– No one must know this. We drank too much and lost our way, but it will never happen again, I said and started walking towards the tent.
Bente doubted the relationship for seven years before she left: – Outwardly, we had a perfect life
Broke up
– No, wait, Ellen! I know we’re a little hot, but I’ve had a huge crush on you for years, so this isn’t a coincidence. At least not for me, he said, looking at me with such warmth that I had to get away from him.
Kristian was too busy fooling around with his cousins to notice that I had been gone, but my conscience was pitch black. Even if it was just a little flirting, after all it was his brother I had kissed. It was also very embarrassing for Ida and Peter.
After the party, I was so burdened by the situation that shortly afterwards I broke up with Kristian. I wasn’t really in love with him anymore. Instead, it was his little brother that filled my mind.
Jan and I spoke on the phone several times during that period. The tone was loving and longing, but the circumstances were too difficult. I was the adult of us, and I had to take responsibility that we didn’t do any more stupid things, so I quit my job and moved to another city.
Kaia was “ghosted” by her two closest friends
New chapter
Now I had to start a new chapter without Kristian and Jan. I easily forgot Kristian. With Jan it was more difficult, but at my new workplace I met Kenneth, whom I later married. We had two children, Mia and Hanna, and the years passed. Family life worked, although Kenneth did not give me the same sense of happiness that Jan had.
The kiss in the garden gave me butterflies in my stomach thinking about it, but it also made me feel ridiculous. That kind of romance belonged only to youth, and I certainly wasn’t young anymore.
Mia and Hanna grew up and moved away from home, and in the void the marriage began to crack at the joints. Kenneth and I had nothing in common anymore, and had nothing to say to each other. The year I turned 45, we divorced.
I was never unsure if it was right to divorce, but it was tough to be in the middle of life and alone. Fortunately, I had my wonderful daughters. When they thought I had been alone long enough, they started pushing me to get off the sofa and into life, as Mia said.
– Open to meet someone now
My hands were shaking
In order to have a little more social life, Mia helped me create a profile on Facebook. I had no experience with social media and so far had avoided it, but it didn’t seem too difficult.
– There are all kinds of groups you can join, Mia said enthusiastically. – And you can also get in touch with old friends and see where they are in life.
The last one turned out to be very exciting, and one of the first ones I searched for was, of course, Jan. He and I had not been in contact during the years I was married to Kenneth, but now I found him easily and quickly. He looked handsome in the picture. The boy I had known years ago had become a grown man with gray streaks in his dark hair, but the smile was exactly the same.
My hands were shaking a little when I sent a friend request. Would he remember me? I was nervous and tense and most of all surprised by my stupid reaction. It had been so many years since Jan and I had had our little, short affair. We hadn’t even been in love.
There are countless myths about siblings. We know these are true
Search on facebook
Only now did I come across Kristian. I could also try to look for him on Facebook, but before I could, I got a message from Jan.
“Hey, Ellen. So nice to connect with you after so many years. I have often thought of you! Where in the world are you?”
I replied immediately, and then we exchanged a stream of messages. Jan said that he had been married and had one child, who was now a teenager, but that he and the child’s mother had gone their separate ways when the boy was small. He had had other relationships, but never found the right one. Now he lived like an old monk, he wrote, and I smiled. I was glad he didn’t have a girlfriend.
The same day we found each other on Facebook, we exchanged mobile numbers, and in the evening he called. We talked for four hours and could have continued all night. The following Friday we met and ate at a restaurant, and afterwards we went to my house. The following weekend he moved in.
It sounds crazy, but really, nothing has ever felt more right. Now, after being together for a couple of years, it’s still just like it was years ago. Jan and I can talk for hours, we can laugh until the tears flow, and we can kiss until everything else disappears. We are simply perfect for each other, and everyone around us notices it.
This also applies to Kristian, who is now my brother-in-law. I was nervous on the day I was going to meet him, his wife and their children, but my ex-boyfriend greeted me with a big smile.
– So nice to see you again, Ellen! And now you got him as you should have already then, he laughed.
Even Peter and Ida welcomed me back and warmly welcomed my daughters. Everything in life is so wonderful now that it overshadows the sadness that Jan and I lost so many years and never had children together. It’s sad that I didn’t have the courage to hold on to the man who was and is my great love, but that’s all the more reason to enjoy today, I think now.
