The day after Marius parted ways with his brother at Rorbua, he received the phone call that changed everything

The short version

• Large family in Tromsø affected by two suicides in a short time.
• The brother and father of troubadour Marius Brynjulfsen took their lives eight months apart.
• The family has chosen an open approach about the deaths to avoid speculation and rumours.
• The organization LEVE emphasizes that suicide in the family increases the risk that other family members may end up in crisis.

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– Bjørn stood against the pillar by the stairs there and then we gave each other a hug, thanked each other for a great weekend and went our separate ways, says Marius Brynjulfsen and points a meter away to where he and Tromsø’s emissary are sitting at Rorbua on Easter evening.

The descent after the concert on the famous outdoor square one May weekend last year was the last time Marius saw older brother Bjørn Christian Wiik alive.

The next day, his roommate received a phone call saying that Marius had to call his little brother Simon Haugen.

– I realized it was something serious, but at first I thought it was one of our grandparents who had passed away. Or maybe if there was something with mum or dad, he says and continues:

– Then Simon said straight out that Bjørn had tried to take his own life.

The extended family

Marius dropped everything he had and drove straight to the hospital, where he was met by his father, Martin Brunjulfsen, and his older brother’s girlfriend.

– I will never forget the sight of them when I got there. Then a lot of people came, Marius recalls.

He sits leaning back on the sofa with a cup of coffee in his hand and calmly but seriously talks about the dramatic months.

Within a very short time, the entire extended family was gathered at the hospital.

– There were 30-40 of us gathered in the intensive care unit around the clock for three days when Bjørn died, says Marius.

– The priest said in the hospital before he died that we had received help from the crisis team in the municipality, but that the best crisis team is the family, he adds.

And he often repeats how close the family from Oldervika has been, and still is.

– Bjørn and I were brothers, but also friends. It was the whole pack of siblings. We are an extended family and are very close.

In June, Bjørn Christian Wiik was buried in a packed Kroken church.

Had to take a break

Both Bjørn and Marius have been well-known troubadours in the Tromsø area for several years, and Marius has appeared on several music programs on TV.

– We come from a musical family, from my mother’s side. Mum is not musical, she doesn’t know what a note is, he points out with a broad smile.

– But we have uncles who play.

– We were at uncle Jan’s cottage now for a couple of days at Easter before I played for two full houses at Øse camping. He has an outhouse where it was fully rigged with equipment, and there we played late into the night. Bjørn was sorely missed there. He had loved it.

And even though music has been such a big part of his life for Marius, he had to take a break after his brother’s death.

– I prioritized the family. It was two months before I played again, and then it was here at Rorbua, he says, looking around the premises he has played so many times in the past. Both with and without Bjørn.

– I also stopped listening to music in the car to and from the car, because I was terrified of hearing a song that reminded me of him.

The reunion with the nightclub where he last saw his brother alive was tough.

– There were a lot of family and friends who were supposed to be here as support. I got here an hour before the concert and went up the stairs. Then the lump was all the way up in the throat. Then I went to the bathroom and screamed for half an hour. There were a lot of emotions that had probably built up.

Dad followed

In a short time, Marius’ life changed in 2023. Just a few days after Bjørn passed away, one of his three children moved with his mother to Fredrikstad. In June, he started a new job as warehouse manager at Elkjøp, before going through a breakup in the autumn.

– The family agreed that 2024 would be a good year. We should look ahead, says Marius.

But the extended family was to have a very different start to the new year.

Eight months after Bjørn took his own life, dad Martin Brynjulfsen also ended his life.

– It was brutal. I was the one who found him dad, says Marius.

His father’s death came as an even greater shock to Marius than his brother’s.

– Bjørn had struggled mentally in the past. It was of course surprising that it went this far, but he had received help in the system. No one saw the one with dad coming. He was the happiest person in the world, he says and continues:

– Dad struggled a lot after Bjørn died. He did not get over the trouble. He was good at talking about that. He told everyone around him that he was very sorry, but no one understood how hard it really was.

Anger

Also when his father died, Marius took a break from music, but this time a shorter break.

– For the emotional and the social, music has been important, so you don’t dig yourself into the ground. Maybe that’s where Dad went wrong. He could also be here at Rorbua and listen to me, but then he went home and sat alone.

He admits that he has been very angry with his father.

– After Bjørn, I was the most disappointed. He was open and honest about what he struggled with, we supported him, and he got the help he needed. So I was disappointed in him. But I got angry at dad, he says and continues:

– I’m still happy with him, of course.

Transparency

Both the father and brother had large networks of contacts, and both deaths generated a lot of attention. Both funerals were also covered by several media.

– We have had good communication in the family. Before anyone has spoken out in the media, we have called and talked. We did that too before I met you now.

The family still notices that they have left their mark.

– When I was at Øse camping now, I got hugs right before I went on stage from people who knew him dad, says Marius.

He admits that it can be a bit much from time to time, but at the same time:

– There are people who also feel something. Who may have just realized that dad is gone, and I’m the closest.

The family has deliberately chosen to be open about the deaths.

– Parts of the family were well-known in the cityscape and when something like that happens, there is quick speculation. Then we would be early to tell what happened, rather than someone making up their own stories.

– What has bothered me a lot is that many of us have children. How are we going to explain it to them? How to explain it without creating new traumas?

Back without Bjørn and dad

On Easter evening, Marius was back on stage at Rorbua. There he missed two.

– I know that if they had both had time off, they would have been here tonight. He Bjørn had asked to play with me tonight, and dad had taken the whole dance floor without asking, he says and smiles.

Because even though Martin did not have the musical talent in him like his sons, he was, among other things, the Norwegian champion in swing dancing.

– He has flirted with many ladies during the swing. I may not be lying when I say that I think I’ve been to gigs outside of Tromsø where he’s taken part, where he’s attracted more women with the dancing than I have done with the music, says Marius and laughs.

Or as he put it at his father’s funeral:

– It’s nice that you will be able to sleep next to Bjørn soon. Then he can play and you can dance.

Although Marius Brynjulfsen says that Bjørn always wants to be with him on stage, he tries to keep the family tragedies out of the music.

– Those at Rorbua don’t come to hear about my private life.

And as he repeats several times in the interview: Music is emotion.

This has led to certain songs that he is no longer able to play.

– There are some songs I have stopped playing because they were songs Bjørn and I enjoyed playing in a team. It will probably come back, but I am at work and am affected by them.

But one song may be included in the set list, even if it doesn’t already happen at Rorbua this Easter evening:

– There are a number of songs I’ve listened to that I want to cover. A Rune Rudberg song of all things, “Stand with you in the storm”. It’s about supporting and being there.

A bit like the extended family has been there for each other over the past year. They have also gained a slightly different perspective on life.

– You know that you now take each day as it comes and make the best of it. You never know what will happen. There could be a car accident, or there could be someone struggling mentally without telling about it.

Greater risk

Beate Losvik is the county leader in Troms for the organization LEVE – National Association for Survivors of Suicide.

She says people who experience close family members taking their own lives can end up in a major crisis themselves.

– When one person in a family takes their own life, others in the family are at great risk of suicide in the first few months. You end up in extreme grief, it becomes all-consuming. There are many aspects to it when you lose someone to suicide, she says.

Losvik recommends seeking help, but knows from experience that it can take time to get someone to talk to in the public healthcare system.

– We must use the neighbor’s neighbor to a greater extent, and be present for each other. I am not going to say that it is wrong to get help from the public, but the public offer is not good enough. Then we have to get better at using each other, says Losvik and highlights several other services that offer help.

Both Mental Health and Church SOS have helplines.

– In LEVE, we have a scheme where you can call someone who has been in the same situation. We have a different knowledge than the professionals. The professionals know their subject, while we have known it, and have experience from our own lives, she says.